ok, so recently i've decided to help the world, which means i'm going to sell myself. which might be the one thing i hate most in the entire world. (all my friends, please look the other way).
so i believe what separates me is my intellect and my compassion.
anyways, here is one example of my intellect that hopefully will entice everyone to pay attention to me. (my friends have already heard this one. )
so in an astronomy class that I took at cu (black holes) we saw this 2-d model of the universe, over a time span of millions of years, compressed into a span of 5 seconds. it evolved the way you would expect it to with stars being loosely spread out initially, until the theory of relativity kicked in and the stars bunched together like limbs on a tree. anyways, a couple of months after that, i was playing cards with my brother, and was drinking a glass of water, when i noticed that the condensation on the glass behaved the same as the universe. it was really cool to think that something as large as the universe (which i believe is the only thing to fall under the category "largest") and something as small as a glass of water behaved similarly, albeit on different scales of space and time.
ok
the next point i wanted to make is a point about society. (this will probably sound really cookie-cutter)
Society is stuck. America seems indifferent. Social change, if it has occurred, has not happened fast enough compared to the rate at which we are consuming. (sidenote-if you have read any part of hot, flat, and crowded and have any neurons firing in your brain at all, it's scary to see how much trouble the earth is in.)
Anyways, so what the earth needs is the pebble that starts the rockslide. Basically, i want to be that pebble. The sooner we bite the bullet, the sooner we can start instilling actual hope for people everywhere. There needs to be a paradigm shift. And the best part is that the paradigm shift that takes place is the shift where we learn that by helping others, we inherently help ourselves. That is about as awesome as it gets. Please get excited. And don't hate.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
right now, i'm in some safeway in novato california staring at some colgate thats on sale for 3.49 (normal cost 4.49)
so here's whats going on
monday
I left spokane around 11, originally heading west towards seattle, until i decided to veer southwest towards the columbia river. overall it was a pretty uneventful day. I did hike for a while at this place called Frenchman Coulee. You should google it. My first hike was along this lake. The second one was on top of this plateau that forms a bunch of interconnected paths to hike on. Anyways, right now I don't feel very inspired to translate the awesomeness of this place into words but... blah blah blah it was really picturesque and blah blah blah you really had to be there and blah blah blah on either sides of the plateau were 100 foot cliffs and blah blah blah god bless america.
so after that i went and got some chinese food at the dalles oregon and then slept in my car for the first time ever.
hokay.
veering slightly off topic, on my last day in spokane, mike and i were talking about all the little moments that get lost, whether because you're alone or because they are so fleeting that they appear unworthy of sharing or become forgotten.
here are some of those moments.
A semi truck merging into my lane without being clear of my subaru. i thought that he was merging out of necessity but upon finding out that he had the option to wait and make a safe lane change, my empathy instantly turned to outrage and as a result, an appropriate response was given. which only i heard.
crying at radioheads"pyramid song."
listening to censored colors by portugal. the man and driving continuously throughout all of it, except for stopping to take a piss when intermission came on. it was unplanned. which is why im fucking writing about it. (that one is for the haters)
getting a ticket for going 99 in a 75 mph zone in between bozeman and missoula. the cop was really friendly.
passing 3 semi trucks in one go on a 2 lane road. stopping to pull over and take a piss on the side of the road and getting passed by all three again.
Monday, April 4, 2011
today after lunch, i got sick and blew chunks all over my new shoes in the lot behind whole foods-why-alopecia
Here's what I've been up to the last couple of days.
Thursday
Woke up late. Had lunch with Kurt at this place called Food for Thought. Around 2, I went on a hike up this mountain that overlooks Missoula. Halfway up the mountain is this big M that stands for melodramatic.
Anyways, in yet another impressive display of mountaineering know how, I decided to take my North Face off halfway up and wrap it around some bench so that the only thing I was wearing was a long sleeve U-Bikes t-shirt. So, I got to the top around 2:45, which was great and all, except that the actual summit was still in the distance. So off I went following this dirt road until I eventually bailed and decided to head straight up the mountain off-trail like a man. I got to the top and it was good until I saw that this summit was just another poser and the actual summit was still in the distance and better yet, there were all these satellite dishes and scientific instruments on top of it. So, after hiking through some snowdrifts that once again soaked my feet, I arrived at the top around 3:30 and after checking around, found this metal box that people had carved their names/messages into. I carved Thag Simmons into it (from the Far Side. The thagomizer.) and started the journey back. On the way back, I was inspired by not being anywhere near society and ended up ripping the sleeve off my t-shirt and making a belt out of it. It was pretty soulful. (and functional, my corduroys would not stay up.) Anyways, I arrived back at the parking lot at 4:50 and saw that some University of Montana parking lot gestapo had decided to counter my parking insubordination by granting me the opportunity to donate $25 to the I Know You Were Just Doing Your Job But Anyone Who Does Jobs Like Yours Has To Be A Dick To A Certain Degree Foundation.
Anyways, after that I drove to Spokane where my friend Mike lives. I got there around 10:30 and went to sleep around 5 after watching some Bo Burnham and between two ferns. Thuglife.
Friday
Woke up at 8 and went snowboarding at this local resort callled 49 North. It was my first taste of Northwest riding and it was really chill. All we did was ride this same run over and over again and I would not have had it any other way. The run included this laidback park which had a really fun hip and this late 80's early 90's style halfpipe. Anyways, I was really happy because I borrowed a board, boots, and bindings and still managed to have a good time. Seriously, any snowboarder will tell you that using someone else's stuff and not your own is like going against a deep, ancient Aztecan blood oath that, if you break it, causes you to vomit up all 20 feet of your intestines, which then come alive and strangle your nuts until you pass out in a pool of your own vomit. Anyways, I lucked out because I was borrowing a Dinosaurs Will Die board that rode really well. After riding, Mike and I had sushi with his girlfriend and a bunch of other girls and then picked up some beer at a gas station, got some coldstone, went to Mike's friend Briannes and chilled out there and had a good time. Then we went to sleep.
Saturday
We woke up around 10. Went to Mike's girlfriends Tera's track meet til 1. Then Mike, Troy, Eric and me went to Ihop. I got some chicken fingers, fries, and garlic bread. The garlic bread was unexpected, but not unwelcome. After Ihop, we took some Splenda and a half a piece of toast (with a bite already taken out of it) to Deatri (Mike's friend who works at American Eagle). I thought that was pretty funny. Then Mike, Austin (Mike's friend again.) and I all went skating at this skatepark in Spokane which was built last year. It had a really good setup. Afterwards, we came back home, watched part of Stay Gold, took a nap, ate a Turkey burger, went to a party, came home around 1:25, and watched Black Dynamite (movie of the century) to finish the night.
Thursday
Woke up late. Had lunch with Kurt at this place called Food for Thought. Around 2, I went on a hike up this mountain that overlooks Missoula. Halfway up the mountain is this big M that stands for melodramatic.
Anyways, in yet another impressive display of mountaineering know how, I decided to take my North Face off halfway up and wrap it around some bench so that the only thing I was wearing was a long sleeve U-Bikes t-shirt. So, I got to the top around 2:45, which was great and all, except that the actual summit was still in the distance. So off I went following this dirt road until I eventually bailed and decided to head straight up the mountain off-trail like a man. I got to the top and it was good until I saw that this summit was just another poser and the actual summit was still in the distance and better yet, there were all these satellite dishes and scientific instruments on top of it. So, after hiking through some snowdrifts that once again soaked my feet, I arrived at the top around 3:30 and after checking around, found this metal box that people had carved their names/messages into. I carved Thag Simmons into it (from the Far Side. The thagomizer.) and started the journey back. On the way back, I was inspired by not being anywhere near society and ended up ripping the sleeve off my t-shirt and making a belt out of it. It was pretty soulful. (and functional, my corduroys would not stay up.) Anyways, I arrived back at the parking lot at 4:50 and saw that some University of Montana parking lot gestapo had decided to counter my parking insubordination by granting me the opportunity to donate $25 to the I Know You Were Just Doing Your Job But Anyone Who Does Jobs Like Yours Has To Be A Dick To A Certain Degree Foundation.
Anyways, after that I drove to Spokane where my friend Mike lives. I got there around 10:30 and went to sleep around 5 after watching some Bo Burnham and between two ferns. Thuglife.
Friday
Woke up at 8 and went snowboarding at this local resort callled 49 North. It was my first taste of Northwest riding and it was really chill. All we did was ride this same run over and over again and I would not have had it any other way. The run included this laidback park which had a really fun hip and this late 80's early 90's style halfpipe. Anyways, I was really happy because I borrowed a board, boots, and bindings and still managed to have a good time. Seriously, any snowboarder will tell you that using someone else's stuff and not your own is like going against a deep, ancient Aztecan blood oath that, if you break it, causes you to vomit up all 20 feet of your intestines, which then come alive and strangle your nuts until you pass out in a pool of your own vomit. Anyways, I lucked out because I was borrowing a Dinosaurs Will Die board that rode really well. After riding, Mike and I had sushi with his girlfriend and a bunch of other girls and then picked up some beer at a gas station, got some coldstone, went to Mike's friend Briannes and chilled out there and had a good time. Then we went to sleep.
Saturday
We woke up around 10. Went to Mike's girlfriends Tera's track meet til 1. Then Mike, Troy, Eric and me went to Ihop. I got some chicken fingers, fries, and garlic bread. The garlic bread was unexpected, but not unwelcome. After Ihop, we took some Splenda and a half a piece of toast (with a bite already taken out of it) to Deatri (Mike's friend who works at American Eagle). I thought that was pretty funny. Then Mike, Austin (Mike's friend again.) and I all went skating at this skatepark in Spokane which was built last year. It had a really good setup. Afterwards, we came back home, watched part of Stay Gold, took a nap, ate a Turkey burger, went to a party, came home around 1:25, and watched Black Dynamite (movie of the century) to finish the night.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
so something really funny just happened.
ok. so i haven't been updating what i've been doing the past couple of days but unfortunately i have to, so everyone can share in this very common situational humor that probably won't even make anyone laugh.
anyways, for those unfamiliar with the scintillating plot of my roadtrip, here's what you need to know. I have been staying in Spokane with my friend Mike since Thursday. Before that, I had been staying in Missoula with my uncle Kurt. Anyways, I was going to leave spokane today and head for seattle but upon my departure, realized that I had left my hiking boots back in missoula (200 miles from spokane). So today I drove back to missoula, got to the house, got my hiking boots, took a nap, posted the previous blog, and got ready to leave. Now, here's the kicker. The house where Kurt and I were staying at (the one I had to go back to) had two back doors which was where Kurt and I would enter the house. These two doors formed a room whose main function was a place for people to hang their coats. Pay close attention, because therein lies the simple genius of successfully breaking and entering into the house without actually breaking anything. Anyways, one backdoor was always unlocked, while the one leading into the house was always locked. There was a key left in one of the pockets of the coats that was hanging up, and you could use it to open up the door to get into the rest of the house. The only thing you had to remember was to place the key back into the coat pocket, and not take it into the house and then forget the key and leave. Which is exactly what I did.
I ended up asking a neighbor for help and he gave me a ladder that I used to get up to their second story porch. thankfully that door was open and I was able to get in. Big thanks to that neighbor.
Anyways, it was just really funny how I confidently finished off that last blog post, strolled out the door, and was like shit one second later.
(my computer, phone, and wallet were all still inside)
anyways, for those unfamiliar with the scintillating plot of my roadtrip, here's what you need to know. I have been staying in Spokane with my friend Mike since Thursday. Before that, I had been staying in Missoula with my uncle Kurt. Anyways, I was going to leave spokane today and head for seattle but upon my departure, realized that I had left my hiking boots back in missoula (200 miles from spokane). So today I drove back to missoula, got to the house, got my hiking boots, took a nap, posted the previous blog, and got ready to leave. Now, here's the kicker. The house where Kurt and I were staying at (the one I had to go back to) had two back doors which was where Kurt and I would enter the house. These two doors formed a room whose main function was a place for people to hang their coats. Pay close attention, because therein lies the simple genius of successfully breaking and entering into the house without actually breaking anything. Anyways, one backdoor was always unlocked, while the one leading into the house was always locked. There was a key left in one of the pockets of the coats that was hanging up, and you could use it to open up the door to get into the rest of the house. The only thing you had to remember was to place the key back into the coat pocket, and not take it into the house and then forget the key and leave. Which is exactly what I did.
I ended up asking a neighbor for help and he gave me a ladder that I used to get up to their second story porch. thankfully that door was open and I was able to get in. Big thanks to that neighbor.
Anyways, it was just really funny how I confidently finished off that last blog post, strolled out the door, and was like shit one second later.
(my computer, phone, and wallet were all still inside)
i'm not saying if you gave me $1 billion dollars, I would donate $999 million. But i'm typing it. Haha seriously, someone needs to step up their game.
So yea, the reason I also am starting this blog is to blog about intellectualism. (interesting piece of intellectualism. ahem. usually, for that opening sentence I would have used "intellectual shit" but apparently intellectualism occupies some sort of shit-free zone in my mind. Yeh know, the need to not feel like a monkey.) Anyways, lately, I've been trying to think about things on their most basic level and taking statements for what they actually mean. Basically, actual comprehension. I've been trying to take this attempt at actual comprehension and apply it logically. For example, (and i've used this example with my friends) I recently asked my Dad if he was tired when he went to sleep and he said no. So yea, it's like wait what. why sleep?
anyways.
Sometimes it seems incredible the amount of knowledge that humans have accumulated (like understanding quantum mechanics! What! That's nuts.) But I think all this knowledge does is emphasize the lack of progress in certain areas of our society and the lack of compassion we have for our fellow human beings. I mean, to understand that light behaves as both a wave and a particle, and then to have the majority of the world (yea yea yea I don't have any official stats) still living in poverty just sounds like some big, intricate Far Side cartoon.
Anyways, here's a very basic line of reasoning that I think makes sense.
Why is oxygen important? Water is the source of life. It's incredibly rare based on all of humanity's previous research into the subject. The chemical make-up of water is hydrogen and oxygen. The universe is 3/4 hydrogen (and 1/4 helium) estimated. This logically points to oxygen as being something unbelievably important (read: breathing) as well as water. Now, we just have to use this knowledge for our benefit. (And blah blah now we get to the part about society having gone in completely the wrong direction and how no real change is actually occurring.)
Anyways here are some more thoughts.
Be wary of power. People are barely fit to make decisions that impact their own lives let alone the lives of others.
ignorance is the inability to change your opinion. wait! the caveat, as my dad wisely pointed out, is that someone is not necessarily ignorant just because they refuse to change their opinion. instead, that opinion may just be a belief they hold. (but I mean, I think any level headed nincompoop can agree that the first conjecture about ignorance holds true for a large part of the world today)
more thinking.
whenever someone tries to limit a statement, it's most likely just some manifestation of discouragement based on their illusion of reality. (ha, see how i used illusion instead of perception. apparently this is a put down zone. this ain't no middle school assembly. )
So, this is an example that everyone has probably experienced at some point in their life, and I hope everyone sees the point of view I'm striving for and more importantly, belief in that point of view.
So, the example is this. in any general philosophical discussion, a thought that usually surfaces is the thought that peace is something that would be mutually beneficial for everyone. And then infallibly, the next thing that is said is something to the effect that ideally, yes, peace is something that would be mutually beneficial for everyone, but realistically, it is just probably just not going to happen.
Yea fuck that. Don't bother with losers. Be an optimist prime! not a negatron! (that's something I stumbled across)
Ok last thought, the line "peace is something mutually beneficial for everyone." Now, it's like hands up class. Who thinks that?... Good. Now meditate on that and and meditate on taking statements for their real meaning. (God I sound like a douche. )
anyways.
Sometimes it seems incredible the amount of knowledge that humans have accumulated (like understanding quantum mechanics! What! That's nuts.) But I think all this knowledge does is emphasize the lack of progress in certain areas of our society and the lack of compassion we have for our fellow human beings. I mean, to understand that light behaves as both a wave and a particle, and then to have the majority of the world (yea yea yea I don't have any official stats) still living in poverty just sounds like some big, intricate Far Side cartoon.
Anyways, here's a very basic line of reasoning that I think makes sense.
Why is oxygen important? Water is the source of life. It's incredibly rare based on all of humanity's previous research into the subject. The chemical make-up of water is hydrogen and oxygen. The universe is 3/4 hydrogen (and 1/4 helium) estimated. This logically points to oxygen as being something unbelievably important (read: breathing) as well as water. Now, we just have to use this knowledge for our benefit. (And blah blah now we get to the part about society having gone in completely the wrong direction and how no real change is actually occurring.)
Anyways here are some more thoughts.
Be wary of power. People are barely fit to make decisions that impact their own lives let alone the lives of others.
ignorance is the inability to change your opinion. wait! the caveat, as my dad wisely pointed out, is that someone is not necessarily ignorant just because they refuse to change their opinion. instead, that opinion may just be a belief they hold. (but I mean, I think any level headed nincompoop can agree that the first conjecture about ignorance holds true for a large part of the world today)
more thinking.
whenever someone tries to limit a statement, it's most likely just some manifestation of discouragement based on their illusion of reality. (ha, see how i used illusion instead of perception. apparently this is a put down zone. this ain't no middle school assembly. )
So, this is an example that everyone has probably experienced at some point in their life, and I hope everyone sees the point of view I'm striving for and more importantly, belief in that point of view.
So, the example is this. in any general philosophical discussion, a thought that usually surfaces is the thought that peace is something that would be mutually beneficial for everyone. And then infallibly, the next thing that is said is something to the effect that ideally, yes, peace is something that would be mutually beneficial for everyone, but realistically, it is just probably just not going to happen.
Yea fuck that. Don't bother with losers. Be an optimist prime! not a negatron! (that's something I stumbled across)
Ok last thought, the line "peace is something mutually beneficial for everyone." Now, it's like hands up class. Who thinks that?... Good. Now meditate on that and and meditate on taking statements for their real meaning. (God I sound like a douche. )
Thursday, March 31, 2011
aw shit, someone's got to go back and get a shit-ton of dimes
So today (Wednesday) was pretty solid. I woke around 11:30 after sleeping like a log, had the rest of Kurt's smoothie for breakfast, and hand washed some dishes some dishes which turned out to be pretty therapeutic. However, the thing that I was most proud of was the large entry I made in the book "How to die in the mountains." It started out with me going on a hike at Rattlesnake Recreation Area (shout out to all the thugs and murderers who play the skateboarding version of rattlesnakes. that would mean my friends Tim and Steve, who are really very nice and are thugs only on weekends and never murderers) Anyways, the hike I chose to go on, after consulting with some friendly hikers, was Stuart Peak which is 16 miles roundtrip from the parking lot. So I set off at 1:30 which I believe is the fucking definition of an ideal departure time for a 16 mile hike. Anyways, the trail was snowy immediately. It started gaining elevation around mile 3 or 4 and by mile 6, the only thing I was following was a lone pair of footprints. (And also, the higher the elevation, the more snow there is ) Anyways, the mountains were covered in snow, the sky was overcast with occasional rain, and the pine trees were constantly dripping water. Around 4:30, I came into this ravine that looked pretty awesome for backcountry snowboarding. Anyways, this is where the trail decided to play hide and go seek for keeps. It gave me two choices; one faint pair of footprints that headed straight up the gully and another faint pair of footprints that headed to the right. I chose the one to the right. The reason the footprints were so faint is because this is the point where the snow depth increased to 8-12 inches. Which is a bitch. Point being, it did not take long for the snow to vanquish my two pairs of socks and hiking boots and send them back to a frozen hell. Anyways, the footprints I was following quickly lost whatever trail that might have existed during a happier time, when the honey flowed freely, lumberjacks were everywhere, and the birds and trees were our friends. But I digress. So I followed the footprints for 15 more minutes until they disappeared. Now I had a choice. It was 4:55 pm, I was 7 miles from the parking lot on some mountain surrounded by a foot of untouched snow, and I hadn't told anyone where I was (127 hours was a great film). Sadly I chose to return. I cut back through the woods til I reached the ravine and then ran/jogged the majority of the way back. I fell like an idiot a good amount of times on the way back because the trail was only packed down about a foot wide with unpacked snow on either side. So yea, I'd be running and one foot would secede from the rest of the body and decide to take a short rest under 2 feet of snow while completely fucking over the rest of my body. Anyways, I got back at 6:18, went home, took a shower, met Kurt at the Book Exchange in Missoula (most badass bookstore I've ever seen). Got a book on Islam, modernity, and the Middle East. Had dinner at the Good Food Store (like Whole Foods, except it's the only one in existence) where I had a delicious hamburger with bacon, avocado, and stone ground mustard all on ciabatta bread. Then we came home and had vanilla ice cream with chocolate covered pumpkin cookies (f*&k me right?) and I burned some cd's from the house we are staying at. Around 1 am I decided to go dumpster diving at the Good Food Store which never actually happened. What did happen was that I ended up meeting this really friendly, drunk firefighter named Lee (who also helps disabled kids) in the parking lot of the Good Food Store. We talked and the night ended with me watching Big Trouble in Little China at his apartment while he laid passed out on his bed in the next room with the door open and the lights on. Rock on Lee.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
oh i'm sorry that you took me for a whore. oh im sorry that i took you for a mortician.
So yesterday (monday 3/28/11) (well technically it was 2 days ago says one of the sams in my head. shut the fuck up says the hundreds of other sams) was uneventful. I slept til 12:30. Made some social appearances around Billings with Al (my grandpa). Went to Al's doctor appointment at 3:30 with Al and my Aunt Melinda, who lives in Bozeman, Montanta. We got to the hospital around 3:15, put the waiting room to good use til 4:00, and then waited in the normal, sterilized patient room until the doctor graced us with her presence at 5:00. Alas, by the time she came, it was too late. I had slowly been slipping into a coma long before she arrived, and by the time of her arrival, I just simply did not give a shit about what she had to say. Thankfully, grown-ups who are actually responsible saved our family name from being completely disgraced. Anyways, after that, Al, Melinda, and I had an early dinner at Walker's restaurant in downtown Billings. It was overpriced, but the butter was delicious. (I'm talking about the butter they bring out with the bread) (well technically you're blogging about the butter they bring out with the bread says the same obnoxious sam as before... Blam! the air is filled with the smell of gunpowder as the obnoxious sam has both his legs blown off by the shotguns of all the other now much happier sams.) The night ended with Irma (Al's neighbor) and Melinda sorting out Al's new medication. (The appointment, by the way, was over the results of Al's retake of the Montana driving test. He previously had his license taken away from him. Point being is al's driving (def.)- a big point of contention in Winegardner family matters. hardy hardy har har. One more joke. In the case of Al vs. Everyone else in his family, the court rules in favor of everybody else.... Al punches his lawyer in the face and gives everyone the finger as he storms out of the court. )
And last but certainly not least, I watched hero as I was falling asleep. It was badass. But, I missed out on whether or not at the end, the king gives the army the green light to kill Jet Li or if the army just goes ahead and does it anyway. Yea if you know the answer, you should text me or post the answer on this blog. and i just realized i could go back and watch it but i already went to all this trouble so yea.
And last but certainly not least, I watched hero as I was falling asleep. It was badass. But, I missed out on whether or not at the end, the king gives the army the green light to kill Jet Li or if the army just goes ahead and does it anyway. Yea if you know the answer, you should text me or post the answer on this blog. and i just realized i could go back and watch it but i already went to all this trouble so yea.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Doesn't it seem like Henry David Thoreau was manning a gatling gun when it came to quotes?
Hey internet and friends and whoever.
So boring background shit (kids: ear muffs). I'm on a roadtrip. And here's the post from the first day. I started out going to Whole Foods in boulder, colorado at 8am and got some extra food, some coffee, and some stuff from the hot bar. Really all you need to know is that I got some creme brulee french toast which was pretty damn good.
My first stop was at Rocky Mountain National Park. Here's the declassified shit. It was a hike through snow covered woods that eventually opened up into a snowy ravine and two alpine lakes. The two end destinations were Loch Lake and Mill Lake. It was about three miles to both Loch Lake and Mill Lake and I didn't have any water. The trail was covered in snow and overall, the environment was quite quiet and lovely.
Anyways, the trail was snowpacked, the woods were calming, and just before Loch Lake, I met a group of hikers. I asked them where I was, they told me, and then they shared their water with me. I still have the Gatorade bottle. They told me to go to Mill Lake (sidenote: so yea, I name-dropped Mill Lake earlier in this post, but yea, I had no clue about it til they told me) which was a little ways back and then up some other route. I told them I would give it a shot and then continued on to Loch Lake. After taking in Loch Lake (snowy and windy at high altitude) I had decided to return to the parking lot and skip Mill Lake when I saw a pair of snowshoers ( a man and a wife) whom I had passed on the way up. On the way up I had made a haiku for them. It went something like
A snowshoers joy
Following the distant cry
(and i forget the 3rd line)
Whatever.
They inspired me to turn around. At one of the trail intersections, they headed up towards Loch Lake and I went to Mill Lake. I got up there and I was by myself and it was pretty awesome. The lake was windswept and frozen with mountains towering around on all sides. After a brief debate, I doddled out onto the ice. I mean, the verb doddled works perfectly here. Imagine you are a forest ranger, and then imagine a hiker who is by themselves, on a snowy lake, at high altitude, without any water, and without any real mountain safety training. Forest rangers are are taking bets on my survival and bears are just like fuck, this is too easy.
Anyways, it was actually probably pretty safe.
So, I made my way to some rock outcropping in the middle of the lake and as I was standing on the rock, I made the decision to piss into the wind. Which i did. At first, the wind blew my piss to my right so I thought if I truly meant it, I would redirect my flow. I went for it and got some piss on my awesome $125 pair of hiking boots that my parents got for me from REI. Anyways, I was over it and therefore redirected my piss so that the wind blew it to my right again.
Other highlights of my hike.
I rubbed my face in a young pine tree. And I'm not kidding man.
Took one shit in the woods.
At this time, I'm not authorized to officially comment on the number of pisses but I'm told it was somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 to 3. Probably more.
So, I got on the road to Billings, Montana (where my grandpa lives) around 12:30. The one main event that took place after my departure from Rocky Mountain National Park was that after leaving Casper, Wyoming ( considered by many notable Winegardners to be the halfway point between Boulder and Billings) around 6:45 pm, I began to notice the variety of clouds in the sky along with the impressive palate of colors that was present (due to the setting sun). Anyways, sometime before Buffalo, Wyoming, there were some dark, low, overhanging clouds that I remember thinking were pretty. Those clouds turned out to be real sonofabitches (ha! carl, flight of passage). they harbored a blizzard that extended all the way from the north of Casper well into Montana. In conclusion, I fought a losing battle to stay awake throughout the rest of the night as the blizzard raged on. I ended up pulling over at the Garryowen exit in Montana sometime around 4 am and in one brilliant, flawless stroke of genius decided to turn my engine off while keeping the heat on. Logically, my car battery died around 4:20 am (or maybe thats the time i want it to be in my mind). Around 4:45, one of the thousands of good-natured Montanans helped me jump start my car and I was off. I arrived in Billings at 6:30am and that was that.
So boring background shit (kids: ear muffs). I'm on a roadtrip. And here's the post from the first day. I started out going to Whole Foods in boulder, colorado at 8am and got some extra food, some coffee, and some stuff from the hot bar. Really all you need to know is that I got some creme brulee french toast which was pretty damn good.
My first stop was at Rocky Mountain National Park. Here's the declassified shit. It was a hike through snow covered woods that eventually opened up into a snowy ravine and two alpine lakes. The two end destinations were Loch Lake and Mill Lake. It was about three miles to both Loch Lake and Mill Lake and I didn't have any water. The trail was covered in snow and overall, the environment was quite quiet and lovely.
Anyways, the trail was snowpacked, the woods were calming, and just before Loch Lake, I met a group of hikers. I asked them where I was, they told me, and then they shared their water with me. I still have the Gatorade bottle. They told me to go to Mill Lake (sidenote: so yea, I name-dropped Mill Lake earlier in this post, but yea, I had no clue about it til they told me) which was a little ways back and then up some other route. I told them I would give it a shot and then continued on to Loch Lake. After taking in Loch Lake (snowy and windy at high altitude) I had decided to return to the parking lot and skip Mill Lake when I saw a pair of snowshoers ( a man and a wife) whom I had passed on the way up. On the way up I had made a haiku for them. It went something like
A snowshoers joy
Following the distant cry
(and i forget the 3rd line)
Whatever.
They inspired me to turn around. At one of the trail intersections, they headed up towards Loch Lake and I went to Mill Lake. I got up there and I was by myself and it was pretty awesome. The lake was windswept and frozen with mountains towering around on all sides. After a brief debate, I doddled out onto the ice. I mean, the verb doddled works perfectly here. Imagine you are a forest ranger, and then imagine a hiker who is by themselves, on a snowy lake, at high altitude, without any water, and without any real mountain safety training. Forest rangers are are taking bets on my survival and bears are just like fuck, this is too easy.
Anyways, it was actually probably pretty safe.
So, I made my way to some rock outcropping in the middle of the lake and as I was standing on the rock, I made the decision to piss into the wind. Which i did. At first, the wind blew my piss to my right so I thought if I truly meant it, I would redirect my flow. I went for it and got some piss on my awesome $125 pair of hiking boots that my parents got for me from REI. Anyways, I was over it and therefore redirected my piss so that the wind blew it to my right again.
Other highlights of my hike.
I rubbed my face in a young pine tree. And I'm not kidding man.
Took one shit in the woods.
At this time, I'm not authorized to officially comment on the number of pisses but I'm told it was somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 to 3. Probably more.
So, I got on the road to Billings, Montana (where my grandpa lives) around 12:30. The one main event that took place after my departure from Rocky Mountain National Park was that after leaving Casper, Wyoming ( considered by many notable Winegardners to be the halfway point between Boulder and Billings) around 6:45 pm, I began to notice the variety of clouds in the sky along with the impressive palate of colors that was present (due to the setting sun). Anyways, sometime before Buffalo, Wyoming, there were some dark, low, overhanging clouds that I remember thinking were pretty. Those clouds turned out to be real sonofabitches (ha! carl, flight of passage). they harbored a blizzard that extended all the way from the north of Casper well into Montana. In conclusion, I fought a losing battle to stay awake throughout the rest of the night as the blizzard raged on. I ended up pulling over at the Garryowen exit in Montana sometime around 4 am and in one brilliant, flawless stroke of genius decided to turn my engine off while keeping the heat on. Logically, my car battery died around 4:20 am (or maybe thats the time i want it to be in my mind). Around 4:45, one of the thousands of good-natured Montanans helped me jump start my car and I was off. I arrived in Billings at 6:30am and that was that.
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